Grandpa Sousa

Tragedy is the one and only word. As Mr. Fong was reading, I felt my stomach turn and twist. I was worried and already knew what was coming but refused to believe it. But then he said the words, the words that would have forever changed the ASTI community. From that moment and on, my views on ASTI were different. I felt a sudden hatred build inside my body. I felt it twist my organs and I could feel my stomach stretch turn and twist. Slowly the hatred build up and I knew eventually I would lose my temper because of it. I tried to stay strong and keep calm because had I not, I would have probably gotten violent. Up until we walked into Mr. Sutherland's room, I was fine so I decided to go write on the big poster provided for us and tell him (Mr. Sousa) that I loved him but that was when it went all bad. Mr. Fong walks in with a picture of Mr. Sousa and pastes it right on the poster. I look up briefly and it hits me, he was gone and he was staring at me with his beautiful colored eyes. He was right there in front of me, the man that inspired me, taught me a lot, the one I respected with all my heart. I stared into his eyes and decided I would wrap up my message because I couldn't sit there and bare that.

I walked away as a million thoughts were flowing through my head. So I decided to take it outside and just think on my own so I stepped outside, stared at the sky, and just went crazy. I cussed at everything in the world in my mind and just thought to myself, "Why Mr. Sousa?" He was like my grandpa, I loved him, respected him, and no other teacher could ever be like him. He was something else, a special person that I had just met and yet he had made the hugest impact ever. They say the good people go the fastest and for the first time, I had seen that happen. He was a great, courageous, caring, and outstanding man and to see him go is like having a year of absolutely no sunshine on Earth. Will I ever let this go? Probably not,  I will never like any other PE teacher and I hate going to PE because I won't be with Sousa. He won't be there to tell me that he's proud of my improvements and that he knows I can do it. Well maybe the "replacement" can, but hey, they can NEVER be on Sousa's level, he was different. Someone that no one can ever replace and I think about it until this day... I love you with all my heart Sousa and I will never replace you and nor will I forget you. I love you Grandpa and don't forget that.

Esperanza's Future

The last four chapters of "The House On Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros says a lot about Esperanza's future and what might happen. Cisneros hints multiple times that Esperanza might be leaving Mango Street and also makes it seem like she is on a mission. In the fourth to last vignette, Cisneros makes it clear that Esperanza is looking forward to leaving Mango Street. This is exemplified on page 105 when Cisneros says,

"Yes,  make a wish. What do you want?
Anything? I said.
Well, why not?
I closed my eyes.
Did you wish already?
Yes, I said.
Well, that's all there is to it.
[....]
Esperanza. She held my face with her blue veined hands and looked at me... When you leave you must remember to always come back, she said. A circle you understand? You will always be Esperanza. You will always be Mango Street. You can't erase what you know. You can't forget who you are [....] For the ones who cannot leave easily as you."

This shows that Esperanza wished to leave Mango street and one of the old ladies were telling her she would have to come back. This contributes to the idea that Esperanza does not like Mango Street and wants to leave. In a way, it seems like she is part of Mango Street but Mango Street is not a part of her. Another thing it shows is that Esperanza was the one that did  not want to grow up and she wanted to stay a child while the others allowed themselves to mature and grow up there on Mango Street so it will be harder for them to leave.

Also, Esperanza proves that she did come back to all of the people that she left behind and it is proved at the very end of the book.

"One day I will go away [....] They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out (110)."

The quote above is the biggest hint of it all and the most important part of the book. Esperanza does in fact come back and stick to her word. She does not physically come back to Mango Street and take her friends and friends with her, she helps them have their way out by writing "The House on Mango Street". She talks about all of the experiences she had on Mango Street and with whom she had them. That was her way or rather Sandra Cisneros way of coming back to take those who cannot out.

A Taste Of The Variables That Make My Life

Table Of Contents:
The Beautiful Brown Paint
I Guess It's Mostly The Color That Counts
Yes, I'm A Tough Girl
So.. Are You Supposed To Look Cute?

The Beautiful Brown Paint

Big, brown and a little run down. It’s cute. As colorful as a parachute. Rusted a little, parts scraping off. Dusty in the summer, can’t help but cough. I’m proud of it, I feel like with that apartment, I benefit. The chocolaty color that coats the outside, as it was worked on, it was the paint they had to apply. The color was bright, from a mile
away, my apartment in sight. Lived there almost forever in a day, this place I will never betray. In my apartment I dance and sing, joy and happiness I bring. Everyone comes over to visit my place, the memories they make at my apartment they will never erase.
The inside, all clean and taken care of. Taken care of from the clean carpets below to the roof above. My rooms as pretty as a dove, everything in their taken care of with love. Bunk beds next to the laptop, always changing things in that room, we never stop. It makes me feel like I belong, every time I’m in their, I feel strong. Can I say that it makes who I am? No need for any one's thoughts, cause I don’t give a damn. I love my apartment, I see it as me and my family’s accomplishment. 

 I Guess It's Mostly The Color That Counts

My Uncle has light brownish green eyes. They sparkle when hit by the sun and even when they don’t hit the sun, they sparkle. They sparkle kind of like glass or maybe even like a fresh coat of clear nail polish. He always says Hey, what can I say? I got good genes.
I laugh, I wish I inherited those genes.
Well, maybe your children will get them.
We then both grin, I feel so grown up when I talk to him.
My dad has light green eyes with a hint on brown as well. They don’t sparkle but you will notice them. It is the first thing anyone sees on his face. They give such hard glares, it is hard not to get scared and maybe even giggle a little. Those eyes hide behind his glasses and when he takes them off, it is like he stepped into a whole other world. Everyone stops to stare, you know? It’s like he’s Chris Brown or something, they all look. We here the little comments everywhere we go

Wow, look at those eyes.

Oh, such a beautiful color.
My mom, well she has brown eyes. Just brown, no green in it, no blue. Just a solid light brown. Even though it’s just brown, it’s a pretty brown. One full of color and a rich look. You can stare into her eyes for hours and look at the different designs that are crafted into her eyes. They swirl and take you into a whole other world. She’s pretty, and maybe the eyes are a plus. Who knows? She knows she loves here eyes, she says so herself.
I love them, they’re.... pretty, you know? Just like me. Then she smiles and that’s the end of the conversation.
My sister, she has those big eyes. Like an owls eyes in a way. It’s big and milk chocolate brown. You can see everything behind you by just looking into her eyes. I call it a mirror. She has just brown as well, no green or anything else. No designs or anything of the sort, just plain old big, brown eyes. I love them.
My other sister, well she has normal eyes. Not big, not small, not green, and no designs. There’s really nothing in particular that stands out. Just plain old boring brown eyes. I always tell her
Why in the world do we have such brown eyes?
I don't know, but I would appreciate a color that would pop.
We sigh and sit in silence, what else is there to do when you have boring eyes?
My eyes, what can I say? I have normal eyes as well. They’re brown and medium sized. Nothing that stands out. Well, except my eye lashes. Those things.... If they were to be curled, they would reach my eyebrows.
Yeah, they’re cute. I know they are.
It’s my eyes that make me a little more attractive, at least that’s what I think. 

Yes, I'm A Tough Girl 

I think it was steak. Or something like that, well I don’t know. I was only in pre-school. I loved it though, the sauce it came with and we always had delicious spaghetti next to it. However, only now do I realize how good it actually was. I hated it, just like I hated girly-girls. I could not stand those little snobs, always so perfect and pretty. Their hair stayed in place while mine got all messy by the end of the day. I would never be friends with them, I was always surrounded by boys. You know why, they did cool stuff. Things that only tough people like me could do. Like kicking rocks and three wheeled bicycles. It was from there that I determined that I was a tomboy. I hated wearing pink and having pretty clothes. I liked bold stuff, like boys shoes cause they were for the tough people, like me.
Hey, you girls can’t hang out with us. We do tough stuff. You couldn’t bare that.
We don’t care, we will make sand castles and you can’t come in.
Oh yeah? Well... Who cares? And I stuck my tongue out, not even one more word.
I ran, I jumped, I yelled, I did all the tough stuff.
I’m bold I would think. And I really was, I felt like I really fit in and I found where I belong. Doing boy like things, mhm, it was a great experience. Probably one that a boy would prefer.

So.. Are You Supposed To Look Cute?

Clothes. What is the point of buying those things if you end up throwing them away? They come in all different shapes and sizes. Kind of like shapes. They have nice shades, like blue and red. All kinds of shapes like “v-necks” and “u-necks”. Then they come in all different designs. Some with one sleeve, some with two, some that comes down all the way to your hips, and some that stop halfway.
What has happened to the style nowadays? My mom complains.
I don’t know, I guess every one's adding in a bit more of the teenage style into all their clothes.
She shakes her head, I swear. It is really going to be the end of the world soon, every thing's turning around and changing.
I stare, well it is. I hate having to change my entire closet every 6 months just because their is something new in the stores. That’s exactly why I always stick to my clothes style. I wear my tight skinny jeans, my tight plain colored shirts, Vans, Nike's, or Jordan's, Jordan’s necklace, and a fresh jacket to go on top. There is no changing what I wear just to look like Megan Fox or like Brittney Spears.
Changing styles is like changing your hair style, eventually you look dumb and like you lost yourself. Well, that’s what I think. My cousins change their style at least once a month. Once, they wear skinny jeans and long shirts. Next I see them in booty shorts and those stylish tank tops that are tight around the chest and loose on the bottom half. Then the next time I see them, they would be wearing high waist pencil skirts with a tucked in ruffly shirt on top. It made me laugh.
What’s up with your outfit?
What did you just say? ‘Cause the question is what’s up with your face?
I.... Never mind. 

The Color Red Analysis

In the book "The House on Mango Street", Sandra Cisneros puts in many symbols. The symbols come in a variety of things such as colors, objects, body parts and much more. The one that was rather appealing to me and interested me right off the bat was how the colors red and pink were symbosl. Now usually, you will not see that but the fact that Cisneros was able to do that was interesting.

The color red pops up on several pages and four, the color red is symbolized.
"It's small and red with tight steps in front and windows so small you'd think they were holding their breath."
This symbolizes that she is somewhere that she does not want to be. Esperanza obviously does not like her house and she is explaining how there is something wrong with her house. The tone she has here seems to be that she is unhappy and is not feeling the house at all and obviously, the color red was involved. This leads to the next vignette.

The color pink pops up and essentially represents the same idea of in a way, being uncomfortable or going against your will. This vignette is particularly different because it involves not wanting to do something or maybe even just going against your will. On page 46, it says,
"I open up and she's there with bags and big boxes, the new clothes and, yes, she's got the socks and a new slip with a little rose on it and a pink-and-white striped dress."
In this vignette, the idea is that she is insecure and does not want to do what she is asked to do. Her cousin by first communion wants to dance with her but she does not want to and she has pink on. It proves that she is not comfortable and does not want to be there. Again, that ties into not wanting to do something or just going against you own will.

The third vignette is about red. This one is really intense and explains a great and horrific story. Something is being done to someone and this time it is most definitely against their will.
"I was waiting by those red clowns. I was standing by a tilt-a-whirl where you said.... Why didn't you tell them to leave me alone? The one who grabbed me by the arm, he wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, Spanish girl, I love you and pressed his sour mouth to mine."
Proof of discomfort, loneliness, and of course, not wanting to be somewhere. In this scene, it is not clear who is talking, however it is about being violated. The reason the color red ties into this is because the red clowns were there while everything was happening. She was surrounded by red which comes to prove that red and pink symbolizes not wanting to be somewhere or doing something against your own will. 

Windows ...

In the book “The House on Mango Street”, the author Sandra Cisernos seems to talk about a specific subject in a bunch of her “chapters” and the reason is related to each other. One example is windows. In the vignettes: My name, No speak English, Rafaela, and Sally, Cisernos mentions windows at least once. There is obviously a meaning or a reason for the repeat of windows in these four sections of the book.

In the section “My Name”, windows are mentioned only once. She is talking about her great-grandmother whom she never got the chance to meet. She mentions the windows in paragraph 4 when she says:

“She looked out the window her whole life, the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow.”

To me, this means that looking out of the window is a way of rejuvenating herself. Looking out the window was a way of just chilling and having some one on one by herself. I think that the one looking out the window was not depressed but she was so focused on looking out the window that she had that look on her face.

This leads to the second vignette “No Speak English”. There is a brief mention about windows, which does tie into the first vignette.

“She sits all day by the window and plays the Spanish radio show and sings all the homesick songs about her country in a voice that sounds like a seagull” (77).

Again, this is about getting away from everything and everyone and just having time to oneself. It says that when Mamacita gets homesick, she likes to sit by the window and just sing. That sort of means to me that she wants to be isolated by the world and stare into whatever view the window has and just do her thing.  

Then there is “Rafaela Who Drinks Coconut and Papaya Juice on Tuesdays” which is also about windows. On page 79, it says:

“And then Rafaela, who is still young but getting old from leaning out the window so much, gets locked indoors because her husband is afraid Rafaela will run away since she is too beautiful to look at.”

I feel like this still kind of means that it is a way to be isolated because it seems like Rafaela’s husband does not let her look out the window in fear that she will run away. So I feel like it means the same thing. A way of being isolated.

Then finally yet importantly, there is “Sally”. This is another vignette that talks about windows. It is on page 81 and it says,

“Do you wish your feet would one day keep walking and take you far away from Mango Street, far away and maybe your feet would stop in front of a house, a nice one with flowers and big windows and steps for you to climb up two by two upstarts to where a room is waiting for you.”

In this one, windows are a sign of happiness and maybe even a nice place to be. Windows in her case seem to be a sign of escaping things and just enjoying the world.