Reflective Essay On Posts From 1st Quarter

Blogging has affected me beyond strictly my school life in a negative way, what happens at school mostly inspires my blog posts and even though writers block can get in the way sometimes, I still end up with a great post. I have posted an average of 24 blog posts this first quarter and a majority of my ideas came from the things that go on at school. In addition, posting these blogs affects my life outside of school just because I constantly look back at my posts and apply them to my daily life.

Ever since Asti, everyday has been different and crazy. Therefore, at the end of the week, I am able to spill out my heart and I do it simply by posting a blog about it. This affects my life out of school because I look back at it and see all of the horrible things that happen to me, which makes me sad all over again. I usually forget about bad things within a day, however when I look back at something bad, it just pisses me off. For example, this was one of the posts that made me feel bad every time I looked back at it.

Most people know that so far, my experience at ASTI has been the worst out of all the other freshman. I have done nothing but stress. I almost fell asleep in class, I have trouble with tests, and I have a lot of social drama. I am being split into four billion pieces and I am just tired of it all. Most of the time I wish I could go to Encinal or Alameda because they have it easier than we do. My worst problem at ASTI is the social ones.

Writers block is one of the worst things for me. When I am writing a blog post and I have nothing to write about, an idea will suddenly pop in my head. I will go with it but after the first paragraph, I suddenly stop and go on Facebook. I do that because I have nothing else to write down to support what I have come up with. That means that I have writers block, which is temporary psychological inability to begin or continue work on a piece of writing. Blog posts have taught me to get over that and I feel like I am capable of writing about anything without spacing out. I relax, read over the last bit of what I wrote, picture it, and go with that. I take what I have and make a bigger picture out of it. That is when the ideas kick in. For my post on thieves, I had writers block on one specific part:

A person in my business is like people sexually harassing me. It disgusts me because it is such a nasty behavior. If you were meant to be a part of a situation, then someone would have told you something. However, when you force yourself into something, you are going to end up annoying everyone. I have never had this happen to me but it is common and I hate it so I just thought I should throw it out there.

I write about many different kinds of things in my blog posts. I write about God, drama, money and all of the other things that can be applied to anyone’s life. I try to think of post ideas that would attract people’s attention because I would love to see their responses and see what they think of the “idea”. It helps me think of things in a different way and from other people’s perspective. Most of the time, the responses I get are good. However, I enjoy the response’s that criticize my work as well because I can learn from it. I see things in a different way, which influence my way of seeing the world and all that is in it.

My writing goals for the next quarter are big. I have big plans and it starts with something small and simple. I want to write more than just an average of five hundred words. My goal is to write somewhere around six hundred to seven hundred words. I want to start using descriptive details to make all of my points. I also have big plans on how to make my blog popular. I have decided to be the first to start a “Hollywood Gossip” thing. This is what I had in mind; I was going to look up all of the biggest and most juicy gossip from Hollywood and post it weekly and keep everyone updated on their favorite stars. I would of course put a link to every place that I got my information from and let people see it for themselves. I will due this by committing to doing the research and planning out what I am going to write so that I can meet my goal of six hundred to seven hundred. 

I wanted to come up with something that would make a strong point and I believe that I made my point. However, before I came up with all of the above, I had gone blank and had no idea on how I could support what I had written. I looked at the bigger picture and thought about how I feel when people are in my business and my mind was filled with emotion, which determined me to write more. I learned that if you have writers block, you should not stop and instead just keep on going. It helps train the mind to keep on going and coming up with ideas.This post reminds me of the times that people got on my nerves and how every little thing they said to me would bother me. It is not like that anymore because I would be caught dead before I would let anyone ruin my day. This particular blog post was around the time when Asti was just about the worst place to be at. Most of the time, I would post something on my blog and not even look back because I had no desire to live off of the past again.

I Believe In...

You believe in this and I believe in that. Now we talk about how we believe in gay rights or how we believe in justice for those who have been done wrong. But whether we believe in God or not is a very touchy topic. I respect all beliefs and I am not here to change anyone's views but I am here to say how I feel.

God is my number one belief. I do not care about education, family, or myself because for me, God is what it is all about. I pray to God every night and I believe that everything that happens is what God does. I do not care if God gives us famine or if we are blessed with money because either way I will believe in God. Why am I here talking about this? I am writing about this because lately, I have noticed people who do not believe in God discriminating against those who do.

I respect that you do not believe in God and that is fine, but why would you try to tell someone else that they and I quote, "should not believe in something that is does not exist". I believe it was about a month ago when a rude and pathetic and freshman friend of mine (who I will call X) said to me, "Yeah sure. You believe in something that is really not up there!" I felt like punching X’s face in, stretching X’s stomach out over X’s head, and then throwing this person in the street so that one of the cars could run X over. You better believe that I would have been laughing. I was offended and disgusted at the fact that X felt like X could tell me to not believe in my creator. I do not care who you are, you never tell me that God does not exist because that is your opinion.

Recently, I was told that a friend of mine was told that God was fake, that she is too religious, and it is annoying. That again, made me want to raise hell and say that those who do not believe in God need to keep their mouths shut because some people are very religious. Therefore, to hear someone say that someone else is too religious really irritates me. I am not sure about the sophomores, juniors, or seniors but I know that there are freshman who do not believe in God and are being rude to those who do. Reminder to them, I am here for education and not to argue about what to believe in. However, if you want to bring it up, then I will keep on going about it and it will be a battle that you will NEVER win. So if you wish to object or anything, feel free to write a response and remember, I respect all beliefs and the point of this what to say that everyone has different thoughts on this "God" situation and so we should not bring it up and start unnecessary arguments.

Of Mice And Men

In the novella "Of Mice And Men", John Steinberg gives the characters interesting parts. Lennie Small is the bigger one and he has the brain of a little child. George is the little one and he watches out for Lennie to make sure he does not get in trouble. The central conflict in “Of Mice and Men” is that of character verses self because Lennie cannot control his actions, which gets him in trouble.
Lennie has the brain of a little child. He does things that only a kid of the age five to ten would do. He does things and is not aware of what he is doing, such as killing a mouse.

Lennie tends to panic when he does something wrong. He has learned to hold on to whatever is near him when he gets scared so when someone scares him, he holds on and the more pressure you add, the harder he grabs on to whatever he is holding on.

“George put his hand on Lennie’s shoulder. ‘I ain’t takin’ it away jus’ for meanness. That mouse ain’t fresh, Lennie; and besides, you’ve broke it pettin’ it. You get another mouse that’s fresh and I'll let you keep it a little while.’” (9)

Lennie loves little animals and he wants to squish them because they appear to be cute to him. That is why he killed the mouse. He did not know he had did it and when he does, George understands that it is not because he thinks it is funny. It is not because of meanness, he does it because his brain does not function the way other people’s brains his age function. He regrets doing what he did at the end, but at that point it is too late for him       

Lennie tends to panic when he does something wrong. He has learned to hold on to whatever is near him when he gets scared so when someone scares him, he holds on and the more pressure you add, the harder he grabs on to whatever he is holding.

“Then Slim straightened up and regarded Lennie with a horror, ‘We got to get him in to a doctor,’ he said. ‘Looks to me like ever’ bone in his han’ is bust’. ‘ I didn’t wanta,’ Lennie cried. ‘I didn’t wanta hurt him.’”(64)

Lennie had panicked so therefore he held on to Curly’s hand and crushed it because everyone put pressure on him. He did not know who to listen to so therefore he followed his instincts and held on and tightened his grip every time someone yelled at him. while he was being pressured, he got his eye busted which I think made him realize what he had done. 

Lennie is in need of George’s support and help so when he does something wrong, he is willing to go to any extent to keep George from finding out.

 “He shook her then, and he was angry with her. ‘Don’t you go yellin’,’ he said, and he      shook her; and her body flopped like a fish. And then she was still for Lennie had broken        her neck.” (91)

Lennie was afraid that if George had heard Curly’s wife, who has no name, screaming, he would have gotten mad a Lennie. Therefore, he tried to hide it by throwing his arm over her mouth, and telling her to shut up. He thought that if he shook her, things would get better but he was not aware of the damage he is capable of. It looks like this, Lennie is scared of George so he tries to avoid messing up so that he will not have to hear George give him hell.

All of these incidents lead to the horrifying and unnecessary conclusion. All of Lennie’s behavior causes him to face a horrible death. He ends up getting shot by George in the back of the head when he was off guard. It was a stupid and sad ending and it bugged me to have to read that but it is how the book ended.  

Bad Girls Club: Miami

So, I was watching Bad Girls Club Miami and it made me realize something. I have it so good at ASTI. The girls out there go to any extent to torture the enemy. At ASTI, the girls wouldn't dare spit at one another and yet I sit around and complain. Well that is really stupid and I should have realized that before.

Basically, I am extremely happy that I am at a school where nobody does anything to anyone and I am juiced. Watch Bad Girls Club Miami Full episodes, just click on <= Bad Girls Club Miami and it will take you there.

How Do I Feel About ASTI?

Most people know that so far, my experience at ASTI has been the worst out of all the other freshman. I have done nothing but stress. I almost fell asleep in class, I have trouble with tests, and I have a lot of social drama. I am being split into four billion peices and i'm just tired of it all. Most of the time I wish I could go to Encinal or Alameda because they have it easier than we do. My worst problem at ASTI is the social ones.

I have been dealing with a lot of drama. People telling me that I should let go of  "the fake females" and do what I have to do to be the winner. It is true, I would traumatize anyone whom I do not like or whoever is getting in my way. However, this is not just any high school. This is ASTI so that behavior does not fly. So what do I do? Do I listen to myself or do I take other's advice? Lately, I've been in a situatuion where at one moment I am happy for "my situation" and the next I want to take my anger out on someone and crush there heads everytime I see "my situation" around. I am 99 percent happy for "my situation" but people will not let me stay happy for "it" so that is where the 1% kicks in.

People do not know the things that I have seen and they have not felt the things that I have felt. So for people to tell me to do something, I can immediately tell whether it is right or wrng. What I cannot do is decide whether I should take their advice or not. Most of you may have caught on by now and you probably now what I am talking about. If you do, please tell me in person or write a response and let me know what you think. (Mr. Sutherland, this is not my blog post for the week.)

Melissa Ma Is So Smart !

I found this good quote from Melissa Ma's blog and I feel the same way as she does

As we sat I realized how horrible our lives would be without electricity. We were extremely bored, and as the night went on it started getting darker.

I hate the dark because that means I will be trapped inside! I prefer to be outside and to feel the wind in my hair. However, when I am inside I feel like im in a cage. If I feel like I am trapped in a cage, then I will come out in beast mode which is not safe. Without electricitty, there would be no mouth watering fried chicken to eat becuase you would not be able to fry it without electricity. There would be no pepsi because you would need electicity to make it cold. Without electricity, life would be dull and there would be no point in living.

I do not know how people back then survived without electricity because nowadays, without it most people like myself will not survive. It is like living in a ditch with no way out. I have had electricity at my service ever since birth and to lose it now would be like losing oxygen. It would take away my phone because I would not be able to use it without charge. It would take away my laptop which would kill me. It would take away my TV time. The worst part is that it would take away my heating blanket. You have to plug it in and it will heat up and it lightly vibrates on the part that you place on your back. So you are warm and you get a massage.

Life with no electricity is hell on earth. It is like burning my insides while stabbing my arm with a knife. Them squishing my head through a closed door. No I am not playing around because that is how much electricity. The things that I cannot live without are:
1. God
2.Family
3. Myself
4. Diamonds
5. Food
6. Sleep
7. My Baby (My Phone)
8. Electricity
9. Family
10.Friends

As you an see, electricity falls at number eight which makes them really important. So I believe I have made my point !

You Gotta Love Money Right?

Money? Why does this piece of green paper run the world? Why is it the reason people lose family members? Why is it the reason people get shot at when they are at banks? For just a piece of paper, people work day and night. For all of that work, you can happily say you have earned this green sheet. Does money buy you happiness? Does money bring you back to life when you are on the verge of death? Does money get you through nine months of pregnancy? Does money buy you true love? I think not!

People are so obsessed with money that it is slowly taking over the world. Money is nothing but paper so I do not see why we need to ruin our bodies and waste our time

trying to bring green sheets home to your family. It is not as if I do not enjoy a bundle of money now and then, but I do not think it is necessary to base our lives on how much of it we have. For example, when your children want to go on a trip somewhere. You base your decision on whether you have enough money or not. You are giving away your child’s happiness because you want to save money? That is stupid and selfish. I know that without money, you cannot do anything or go anywhere but that is just it. That policy needs to change.

I have thought a lot about this and came up with three reasons why money should not run the world. First of all, we should not let green paper take over lives and kill people because that is not logical. Secondly, money should not run the world because it will not do anything to help us in the long run. Again, going back to my first paragraph- will money keep you from dying or losing a loved one? I think not! Last but not least, it just makes no sense to let money take us over. It is not ethical to let money take over humanity. It is stupid and only the greedy and money hungry would oppose this. What I am trying to say is that we need to step it up, and stop letting the little things like paper take us over.