Respect #2

Okay so a few weeks ago I wrote a post about respect. I really have something to say about this. I am really sorry for doing way too much. I was really pissed off when I wrote that post and I swear it felt like I was taken over by a demon. Even my mom said that I was acting like I was someone totally different and my actions ended up getting me in BIG trouble with my parents. What I was really trying to say was something totally different. I intended on writing about how people need to respect each other a little more but instead I got so caught up on what had happened between me and a friend that I didn’t stick to the actual point of the blog. Whenever I would see a response, it would refresh my memory of what happened and I would go back to this stupid idea of losing respect for people. I put this up because Rahni is a really good friend of mine and what she said really made me feel bad: 

“I respect everyone, even if we are not friends and you do something that I do not appreciate. I guess it depends on what type of person you are because I am the type of person who it takes a lot to get mad, I am playful and I laugh a lot. I love everyone to an extent. I am not trying to diss anybody but I feel  that what  Rokhsor said is not cool at all. I feel that this is what a drama queen would do.”

I feel horrible for saying what I did and Rahni’s input means a lot to me. I respect her and what she has to say matters to me so I just want to say, again, that I am so sorry for acting stupid and I did not mean to do too much

This is what I was getting at. At the time, there was a lot going on. The things people did around me was disgusting. There were people putting others down, calling them names, and trying to make their lives “a living hell”. It was stupid and I was tired of seeing people disrespect others. I mean, if you know me, then you better know that respect is my name. I do not care who you are and what is going on with you, you had better respect everyone when you are around me. I cannot stress that enough, respect means the world to me and that is the honest truth. I put that on my life and I put that on The Almighty Allah, the one I believe in and RESPECT. I am truly sorry if I acted like a dumb retard. I am even sorrier that I gave out the wrong message to everyone.

Respect is something you need to have and if you do not, well then do not come near me. Ask anyone in my family how much I talk about respect. That is a 24/7 topic for me and my family. If you do not believe me, I will give you my number and you can talk to my little sister about it. I literally knock her teeth out every time I think she is being disrespectful. I am known in my family for being the best one because I respect everyone. You can talk to ANYONE in my family about this. Feel free to get my number from the office and talk to my mom if you do not believe me. I feel extremely stupid for talking about losing respect for people. I hope you guys understand and will forget that I ever put up that dumb, retarded, overrated, stupid, crazy, and childish post.

Child Called "It" Final

Wow, Child Called "It" is so boring. My entire group talked about was the abuse. Not even once

did we get into the actual meaning of the book. Like, what exactly was the moral? Could there have been a reason why he published it? Obviously yes. So therefore, who did he want as his audience? All of these questions could have made a better conversation. For some reason or another, everyone was obsessing over the abuse and how much he or she hated the mother. I was disappointed at the fact that all we have discussed is abuse, abuse and abuse. It became boring and now the book is extremely dumb and pointless to me.

I brought up the fact that in the last page, David says,

“… and deliver me from evil.”

I thought that it meant he wanted to be a devil child and use his dark side to beat his mother and escape everything. However, since no one in my group was listening, those who were taking notes told me that meant he wanted to be taken away from the evil, which was obviously his mother. I also brought up the fact that the mother might have been torturing David just to make him stronger. Of course, everyone disagreed with me but I still have a feeling that she was just trying to make him stronger. However, after Lhadze did some research, she found out that the mother had been abused. The mother was actually an alcoholic since she was 13. Her parents were divorced which led to her being abused. She was locked in the closet and denied food.

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/Did_Catherine_Roerva_Pelzer_get_abused_when_she_was_young)

This leads to her overrated behavior towards her son. This is all just a little bit crazy and this is what it connects to, the mother has to take her anger out on someone and found David as an easy target. However, David does not do that, he tries to prevent the abuse.  

This book was probably the best thing that ever happened to me but my discussions were pathetic and I wish we had talked more about the other parts of the book.

Response To Alex

So, I saw Alex's response to me and there were a few things I wanted to say about this quote in specific:

For example, if one of your closest friends says something that offends or angers you, then you will not take the time or even consider forgiving them. If that is the case then you will pretty much lose respect for everyone you know because almost everyone you know is bound to disrespect, anger, or offend you in some way or another.

Okay, so I understand what he is saying and it makes sense but I have something to say about that. If they were a close friend to me, why would they disrespect me in the first place? Why would they purposely or even accidently annoy me? I mean, I think it would be rather pathetic if a friend bugged me and then expected me to forgive them. That to me is considered some 5 star BS.

Over the years, everyone around me has taught me a lesson that I will take everywhere with me. That lesson is that your friends are not friends. They are the people who make you cry, stab you in the back, compete with you, leave you when things get bad, and do not stay with you until the end. Only one in every four billion will be true to you and it is impossible to find that one person. I mean, look at reality shows, do the friendships ever stay the way they started? Hell no! I believe everyone uses you whether you like it or not so when I do not forgive them, I am also not forgiving them for all the times they have talked about me and I haven't found out.

And hell yes, I lose respect for people who disrespect me. But they have to be people who matter, if it someone I barely talked to, then I will laugh at them because they are pathetic and need help. But if it is a friend, then hell yes I will lose all respect and if I could, I would get them arrested and make them know that they are retarded and I hate them but then again, that is just me. I do not want to change your point of view.

God Bless Alameda

I got this from Aleah’s blog about Alameda and I found it to be….  Different.

“I am so proud that I live in Oakland instead of bootsy Alameda.”

“I remember I told a friend of mine that I attended a school in Alameda and they said ‘Wheres that’. Then I said ‘See, its so weak you don't even know where it is.’”

I am shocked. If anything, Alameda is the coolest place to be and just because you do not like it here, does not make it dumb or stupid or anything like that. I am tired of people calling Alameda bad names. If you do not like it, then do not talk about it. It is as simple as that. Just because people live in Oakland and it’s where all the “cool people” live, does not make everywhere else dumb.

First of all, if Alameda is bootsy, then what are you doing at an Alameda school? I am not trying to sound rude at all but it is the first question that popped up in my head. Since Alameda is bootsy, then you might as well find a good school at Oakland. Oh yeah, since it is so much better than Alameda, then it shouldn’t be that hard to find a good school in Oakland that is offering the same kind of things that ASTI is.

(My dad works in Oakland and he has seen people get shot but he loves it there and he says he would not want to work anywhere in the world but in Oakland but you do not see him talking trash about Alameda.)

You talk about how Alameda is so weak that your friend doesn’t even know where it is. Well you know where it is. I know where it is. It is just one person who doesn’t know, it is not like Alameda becomes weak and pathetic all of a sudden. This is exactly like saying, “I told a friend of mines in New York that I lived in Alameda and she said where is that and I said see, Alameda is so weak that someone in New York doesn’t know where it is.” It makes no sense, there is always going to be someone who doesn’t know where Oakland is. What I am trying to say is that Oakland is a beautiful place but there is nothing wrong with Alameda either.

Respect

What is respect? Let me tell you what it is really quickly. Respect is to hold in esteem or honor. Knowing this you might be wondering, “Why is she talking about respect?”. Well let me briefly explain myself. I usually start off respecting everything and everyone in the world until they prove to me that they are trash and do not deserve to be respected.  I have recently stopped respecting many people. Most of them treated me like dirt so I stopped respecting them. When I stop respecting someone, it means that they are an absolute nothing. They are garbage to me and having to look at them makes me sick.

Never in my life have I lost respect for an adult. I do not care if they spit in my face, I still respect them. However, if I am dealing with someone who is around my age or someone who holds no authority, then hell yes I will loose respect for them if needed. People just piss me off and they do things to get on my nerves on purpose. I know I am not the queen of England but people are just so stupid. They say things that they know will make me mad or they just do me wrong in so many ways that it makes me lose respect for them. I hate when I have to lose respect for someone because then it means I have to consider them trash that I would spit on. They bring it on themselves.

People always wonder why I am so harsh and it is because I have bottled up all of the anger I have inside of me and when it comes to blog post time, I let it out. In my past, people have treated me wrong because I did not care about feelings and I said what I had to say. That would offend people and it would eventually lead messy females mugging me. Also, I have had a hard life and it is not related to my family at all. It is because I have always dealt with immature people and I decided to stop doing things about it. All of this leads to me being a harsh punisher. I hate forgiving, forgetting, and anything of the sort. I get one life and if I waste it forgiving people who do not deserve to be forgiven, then I might as well kill myself and give them my life. If I have to forget what people did to me, I might as well give my self a slow and painful death. So therefore, respecting people would be just as stupid. I will lose respect for people and the point of this blog is to say that if someone gets on your nerves, then lose all respect for them and treat them like the pile of trash that they will become.

A Child Called "It" #2

This discussion was insane. We all got heated but me the most. I was disgusted at this man-like woman who claims to be a mom. She is a disgrace to all women and I feel sad today sitting here and referring to her a “she” or “her”. We discussed nothing but the abuse but things took a very interesting turn this time because we did not only blame the mother for her actions. We had another suspect and we believed this person had a major impact on what happened to David.

I came to the conclusion that the father was the blame. While talking to my group, I noticed that most of this came back to the father. He is the man of the house, the one who provides for them and without him, David’s family would be beggars. So therefore, I came to the conclusion that he should have more say than anyone in the family as to what would happen and when it would happen. But no, I was wrong. Instead, the mother wore the pants and just so that the father could get his way, he tried getting her drunk. She soon became an alcoholic. I know this seems irrelevant to the situation but it applies more than anything.

The mother becomes and alcoholic and this only pushes her more and make her want to abuse him even more because she does not know what she is doing. Why would the father be such a coward? Because he is a pathetic weakling and he does not deserve to be a father. Like I always say, men are slime balls and at the end of the day, the women wear the pants in a relationship.

Of course, he is not the only one who makes it worse. David’s dumb ass brothers also abuse him. It really disgusts me when I read that they get to play, eat, sleep, dance, and be obnoxious as hell but when David decides to be a kid, he gets an ass whooping. I am pretty sure that there is so much more to come and I cannot wait to read it and take my anger out on the mother.  

Responding To Bianca

Bianca talks about something that I have always been against and this quote shows exactly what I am talking about:

It has been decided that in 2014, on the last day of school, I will do something I have never done before. I will be taking a risk and do something so rebellious and bold that it is practically unheard of.

She talks about being rebellious. Now being rebellious to me is overrated and unnecessary because I believe that being rebellious is like going against your parents wants. Listening and making my parents happy is my number one priority. I am completely aware that her point of view on doing something rebellious might be different but for me like I said before, rebellion for teenagers is trying to take control of your own life and let your parents know that you are not going to obey them any longer.

That is truly disgusting and there is actually a funny part to this. People think they are cool and say they are rebellious with such pride. It makes me want to slap them however; it is none of my business. What is Bianca trying to get at? Is she going to smoke, drink, and leave her parents or what? She talked about chewing gum during class or whatever but that is not being rebellious. That is more along the lines of wanting good breath at school.

From what I have heard, being rebellious is doing the exact opposite of what someone of authority asks you to do. I know that chewing gum is the opposite of what you are told to do, but I am talking major things. First, why does she want to be rebellious? She is so innocent, nice and everyone expects a lot from her but for her to think that be being rebellious, people are going to respect her more, I am sorry to say that she is wrong. Some people become rebellious because it is a sign of freedom, some do it to be cool and some do it just because they have never done anything “bad”. I think Bianca should let it go and just bee herself.

A Child Called "It" #1

A Child Called "It" was truly a heart-breaking story. I was surprised at the things that David, the main character did for his mom even though she was a piece of garbage that deserved to eat her children’s diapers. During our lit circle discussion, we talked a lot about abuse rather than the actual story and what the point of it is. I was surprised at how much the people in my group were defending the mother or should I say the abuser.

We talked about the mom and why she went from the perfect mom to an abuser. I did not understand why the mother changes what she calls a "perfect family" and the perfect house to what I would call an orphanage. Their was only one child who was abused and it disgusted everyone in the group. We talked a lot about what happened even after our section. It went from time outs, to smashing David's face in the mirror, to things that a normal mother could never even imagine.

Our understanding was that this was the third worst abuse case. I was rather surprised when I saw that because what could have possibly been worse than burning your son on a stove on purpose. My group and I also figured she was mentally sick because she came up with reasons to beat him. Reasons like "Santa put you on the naughty list" and "You are being held back from the first grade" when the truth of the matter was that she just needed a reason to beat him.

We also discussed how she starved him. In addition, when she "accidently" stabbed him, instead of telling him to sit down and relax, she gives him 10 more minutes to was the dishes. What kind of mother is that? She is insane and is in serious need on mental help. If that were my mother, I would have snitched her out right when it began regardless of what she would have done to me. I respect my mom more than anything but I do not think that abuse is the way to go. So therefore, we concluded that she was a horrible mother and that she deserved nothing but the absolute worse and we were relieved to hear that she was no longer alive.