Reflection - Final (Done)

Over the course of my entire freshman year, I have done many blogs. All of them were about different things. Some about things that I wanted to talk about and some things that I was assigned to do. As I reread all of my blogs, I noticed that I went from eighth grade type of work, to high school/college type of work. I didn’t necessarily have better writing but the way I though about things so thoroughly made a really big difference. For example, we had an assignment due on March 17, 2011 where we had to write four to ten vignettes that we made up on our own. These vignettes required a lot of thought and I personally think I did an astounding job and this assignment really shows what I mean when I say that my writing is more thorough.

“My Uncle has light brownish green eyes. They sparkle when hit by the sun and even when they don’t hit the sun, they sparkle. They sparkle kind of like glass or maybe even like a fresh coat of clear nail polish.”

This vignette was about the eye color in my family. I really got into detail about the way my Uncle’s eye looked and how it shined. I feel like I was very thorough description wise and I am proud of it. Even though I have done a lot of good work, I have also had moments where I did too much or where I was really rude towards a specific person. I have an example of each but I will start with just the moments where I was rude to an individual. There is one post where I was responding to Aleah and this is what I said,

“First of all, my name is ROKHSOR not Rhocksor so you need to get that straight and through your head. If you can't spell my name, then don't respond to me because it pisses me off. That is the most annoying thing in the world so don't respond to me, look at my blog or anything if you don't know how to spell my name. Oh yeah, no I'm not sorry so yeah, I'm not apologizing to you because YOU pissed me off and YOU need writing lessons.”

Aleah had responded to one of my posts where I was talking about my friends love life and she spelled my name wrong. When people spell my name wrong, something in my mind goes off and I immediately feel like I need to attack them. I was disgusted, I mean if your on my blog, then obviously your eyes will see my name somewhere there. That is why I didn’t understand why the hell my name was not spelled correctly. But aside from that, I feel like I was rude and maybe I should not have said what I said. But I did and I can’t change it so too bad and now I will move on so something a lot more interesting. I have a lot of examples of me doing too much but I have one in particular that probably got the most bad responses,

“That is the point in time where I decide that I will not forgive anyone at all for any reason because no one deserves to be forgiven. It is not like I have never done anything wrong and I do not expect anything from anyone so people not forgiving me makes no difference to me. Yeah of course, if it were a good friend I would be upset at the fact that they wouldn't have forgiven me but hell no I would not have made an effort to make it better. People not forgiving me is nothing at all, it just shows that people are smart and know better that to forgive me for what I did wrong.”

This post here was abut forgiving people who have done you wrong and I have a lot to say about that. I hate forgiving those who do me wrong and I hate when people forgive me when I do wrong. That is because things change and it is never the same. However, I did a horrible job of explaining myself because I came out sounding like I was rude and like I lived in the past. Although I have had my bad times, I have also had my positive moments. The times where I got through to everybody and they agreed with me. One of those examples was when I talked about thieves and people in my business.

“The stupidest part of stealing is when people put a reward on what was rightfully yours. If someone stole what was yours and what you already paid for, then why would you pay for it again just because some careless goat decided to be cheap? No, it does not work that way. You will not under any circumstance pay for something twice.”

This was one of my most strongest posts because I put in various things that everyone agreed with. Starting with people making you pay for what was yours in the first place. Many people agreed with my point of view on this specific post and I was glad to get all of the positive feedback. The reason I had written this post was because some immature sophomores had stolen my stuff and it pissed me off. I don’t take back what I just said and I probably won’t. The worst thing to ever do is steal and when someone stole from me I was disgusted and the reason for that was that I expected more from all of the students. On top of stealing my stuff like a bunch of little kids, they went through my personal things and looked through what I had. By the time I had actually found out that my stuff was missing, half of one of th sophomore classes had looked at my stuff. It was the one time in my life where violence had crossed my mind a few times. If anything, I am the only girl in the freshman class that hates violence but at that point in the situation, I didn’t care. Although I have had all of my bad moments, these blog posts have help me go from someone who overreacts too fast and is way to rude, to someone mature. I wrote a post about respect and it is most definitely proof of me being rude and overreacting at the situation,

I usually start off respecting everything and everyone in the world until they prove to me that they are trash and do not deserve to be respected... I hate when I have to lose respect for someone because then it means I have to consider them trash that I would spit on. They bring it on themselves”.

In this post here, I got mad at some situation, I don’t remember what it was but it obviously set me off. The result of that was a post like this one. However, as time went on and I blogged more, my behavior took a turn for the better of things. I wrote another post further explaining myself,

“The things people did around me was disgusting. There were people putting others down, calling them names, and trying to make their lives “a living hell”. It was stupid and I was tired of seeing people disrespect others. I mean, if you know me, then you better know that respect is my name. I do not care who you are and what is going on with you, you had better respect everyone when you are around me.”

This was the time when I got a response from someone calling me a “drama queen” which made me want to write another post talking about how I didn’t care about that person and their input on things meant absolutely nothing. Also that the person needed to stop responding to me because no one cares about what she has to say. However, after all the blogging I have done, I learned to get over it and to address it in a respectful manner. That is why I think overall, blogging has helped my behavior, as well as my perception on things.

Finaal Thang - Fredrick

The book “Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass” was one of the far most interesting books I have ever read in my life. It contained first hand incidents, not in much detail but extremely easy to picture. I actually expected most of the things I heard but some of them were doing way too much. One of the things that really made me think that this book was a fake was when Douglass discussed how there were people at the plantations that were not really of much authority and yet they did the most whipping. I figured that it was not true and I did not think that white people would be that horrible. The reason I felt that way was just because Douglass said that some of the white people on the plantations focused on the slaves every little move so that they could find reasons to whip them and when they were whipping a slave, they did it with no emotion. That naturally disgusted me, it was disturbing to think that people in the world did such things and I began to think that the book was, like I said, a fake.

I think that this was a narrative that was very inspirational and it had me questioning various things which I would like to address. First off, I was confused at how a slave could get away with doing half of the things that Fredrick Douglass did. For instance, in a previous book post, I discussed how Douglass had choked his master and from then on, had barely ever gotten whipped. That was probably the most surprising thing that I read. I was astonished at how he could have gotten away with it because considering the types of people he described in his narrative, I would have expected him to get whipped to death right on the spot. On top of that, I would have thought that because of his actions, Douglass would have been killed instead of left alone. These events lead to the next thing that got me thinking. Mr. Fredrick said that his years in slavery following that specific incident weren’t as bad as it could be. He encountered very sweet women that fed him well and work wasn’t as bad.

Although this book was the most interesting and inspirational thing I have ever read, I have to admit that I was bored out of my mind in the beginning. Slavery is something that catches my attention and learning about it is something that I have always enjoyed. However, I started to change my mind because the book felt like it was dragging and didn’t seem to really be going anywhere. It started off explaining the people he was with and all so I thought it was okay because it was just setting everything up. However, it kept on going and going for a few chapters. I can safely say that I read about 3 chapters just talking about who he encountered most of the time, and to be honest, I could care less. I was more interested in knowing what he went through, when he went through, and how he went through it. As I had to read these parts of the book, I could literally feel my eye lids getting heavier and heavier and they were about ready to drop and close shut. I read and read and realized that it was not just what he was talking about that made this book so boring, it was the words he would use. Half of the words that were used I did not understand which naturally made me bored.

Although this book bored me to death, I finally found it to be worthy of my time towards the middle and end. From the interesting to questionable to boring parts, I decided that putting it together, it makes just another book. Since I love reading, I was able to force myself to not give up but to rather keep on going and read. As I read, I found this book to have a strong moral. Although I find this moral in every single book I read, this time it was the most obvious. I felt like the moral of this book was to say that even though you feel like there is no way out, that you are stuck with the one lifestyle, and that you can’t change it, you are wrong. You can always get out of every situation if you are willing to do that for yourself. If you are willing to work on something and step up like Douglass did, you can get out of everything. Not necessarily choking someone but anything else.  

Overall, this book was boring, interesting, and through it all, I was engaged in it. Okay, AND I might sound like I am contradicting myself big time but the thing with this book is that most of the book was boring whilst other part were interesting. So yeah...

Book Review For My Table Group ;)

For Alex Noble, I put:
"I like how in the beginning, you gave a full description on the overview of the book for those that are not familiar with the book. I also like how even though you didn't post your questions, it was clear to me what question you were addressing. However, I think that you shouldn't have focused on one question but maybe gave yourself more options and expanded so that we, as the readers of your post, can find out a little more about the book. For this one specifically, I would recommend you talk about the point of the book because that would have gave everyone a better understanding of what was really going on :)"

For Melissa Ma, I put:
"I really like you post, however it sounds a little cliche. I say this because the typical thing to say is that someone learns to cope with "whatever life throws at them". However, if you were to talk more about how she developed and grew in other way, it would have provided the reader a better understanding of how she changed overtime. Along with that, I think that you should have talked about some of the other characters. If anything, their relationships with Ronnie. Maybe how Ronnie and Blaze's boyfriend relationship changes, and what effect that may have on Ronnie and Blaze's relationship. All of these things would have made your post even better than it is. Other than that, I feel like you did a good job of explaining Ronnie, her habits, and how she changes over time :)"
 
For Jesse Valdez, I put:
"Your post was very interesting but I didn't really see much of an introduction. You jumped right into the main point of the post, being the questions, and barely took the time to explain the genre, what the book was about etc. However, I liked how you had your question on the top of your post so that the reader knew what to look forward too. Although it would have been better if you just incorporated the question into your paper, what you did was still good. Overall, you did good, it is just your introduction that can use some work :)"

Final Post - Douglass

The book “Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass” was one of the far most interesting books I have ever read in my life. It contained first hand incidents, not in much detail but extremely easy to picture. I actually expected most of the things I heard but some of them were doing way too much. One of the things that really made me think that this book was a fake was when Douglass discussed how there were people at the plantations that were not really of much authority and yet they did the most whipping. I figured that it was not true and I did not think that white people would be that horrible. The reason I felt that way was just because Douglass said that some of the white people on the plantations focused on the slaves every little move so that they could find reasons to whip them and when they were whipping a slave, they did it with no emotion. That naturally disgusted me, it was disturbing to think that people in the world did such things and I began to think that the book was, like I said, a fake.

I think that this was a narrative that was very inspirational and it had me questioning various things which I would like to address. First off, I was confused at how a slave could get away with doing half of the things that Fredrick Douglass did. For instance, in a previous book post, I discussed how Douglass had choked his master and from then on, had barely ever gotten whipped. That was probably the most surprising thing that I read. I was astonished at how he could have gotten away with it because considering the types of people he described in his narrative, I would have expected him to get whipped to death right on the spot. On top of that, I would have thought that because of his actions, Douglass would have been killed instead of left alone. These events lead to the next thing that got me thinking. Mr. Fredrick said that his years in slavery following that specific incident weren’t as bad as it could be. He encountered very sweet women that fed him well and work wasn’t as bad.

Although this book was the most interesting and inspirational thing I have ever read, I have to admit that I was bored out of my mind in the beginning. Slavery is something that catches my attention and learning about it is something that I have always enjoyed. However, I started to change my mind because the book felt like it was dragging and didn’t seem to really be going anywhere. It started off explaining the people he was with and all so I thought it was okay because it was just setting everything up. However, it kept on going and going for a few chapters. I can safely say that I read about 3 chapters just talking about who he encountered most of the time, and to be honest, I could care less. I was more interested in knowing what he went through, when he went through, and how he went through it. As I had to read these parts of the book, I could literally feel my eye lids getting heavier and heavier and they were about ready to drop and close shut. I read and read and realized that it was not just what he was talking about that made this book so boring, it was the words he would use. Half of the words that were used I did not understand which naturally made me bored.

Although this book bored me to death, I finally found it to be worthy of my time towards the middle and end. From the interesting to questionable to boring parts, I decided that putting it together, it makes just another book. Since I love reading, I was able to force myself to not give up but to rather keep on going and read. As I read, I found this book to have a strong moral. Although I find this moral in every single book I read, this time it was the most obvious. I felt like the moral of this book was to say that even though you feel like there is no way out, that you are stuck with the one lifestyle, and that you can’t change it, you are wrong. You can always get out of every situation if you are willing to do that for yourself. If you are willing to work on something and step up like Douglass did, you can get out of everything. Not necessarily choking someone but anything else.  

Overall, this book was boring, interesting, and through it all, I was engaged in it. Okay, AND I might sound like I am contradicting myself big time but the thing with this book is that most of the book was boring whilst other part were interesting. So yeah...

Fredrick Douglass #2

So far, my book has been one of the most interesting I have ever read. Compared to my last post, I have a lot more positive things to say. Starting off with the how the book is 100 percent more interesting, I actually read the book and visualized every scene rather than think about other things. I was surprised at most of the things I read because I would have never imagined that slaves were capable of doing most of the things they did. This is exemplified on page 68,

"Mr. Covey seemed now to think he had me, and could do whatever he pleased; but at this moment-from whence came the spirit I don't know- I resolved to fight; and suiting my action to the resolution , I seized Covey hard by the throat; and as I did so, I rose. He held on to me, and I to him. My resistance was so entirely unexpected, that Covey seemed taken all aback. He trembled like a leaf. This gave me assurance, and I held him uneasy, causing the blood to run where I touched him with the ends of my fingers." 

Mr. Covey had Douglass for only and year and until that year was over, Douglass was to obey and listen to everything Covey said until the one year term was over. After that, Douglass was going to be transferred to another person and serve another one year term. But that is beside the fact, what surprised me is that fact that for the first time a slave stood up for himself. What that shows is that it was a turn in slavery, if not a major turn, it was a turn that counts. In my opinion, I think that even one person that can stand up will eventually lead to a bunch of other slaves standing up. Overall, the book was inspirational and I got a lot out of this.

Fredrick Douglass

As I was looking for a book when I came across something boring looking yet interesting. I have always found myself to be interested on how it might have felt to be a slave. To have been a witness of people getting whipped, to sleep in the cold, to have limited food... I always wanted to know how the slaves were able to get through it. I stood and stared at the book in front of me, it was called "Narrative of the Life of Fredrick Douglass, an American Slave" by none other than Fredrick Douglass himself. It was obviously the answer to most of my questions. So I decided to go with the book and have a lot to say about how it is.

So far, this book have given me the best visuals possible. Douglass does not really describe the situations in his book that much, yet I still picture every single part. I am able to follow. Considering the things he would say in the book, he made it obvious what the point of this narrative was.

"Slavery soon proved its ability to divest her of those heavenly qualities. Under its influence, the tender heart became stone, and the lamb-like disposition gave way to one of tiger-like fierceness."

 Before this part, Douglass was talking about how the lady that was his master's wife was the sweetest he had ever met and she really took care of her slaves. However, slavery changed this kind-hearted lady into a harsh and demanding control freak. I believe he is trying to say that slavery was something that messed with everyone's minds. Even the kindest soul can change dramatically once under the influence of slavery and basically just power over someone.

What I did not like about the book was how it got boring at times. Sometimes it just made me want to fall back and just go to sleep. It got to the point where my eyes were scanning the book while my mind would think about bagels and hot chocolate. So I would sit there, scan through the text and then think about what I should eat at lunch or what I should do for the weekend. After I was done reading, I would go back and reread because I wouldn't know what I just read. Although it was good, it was also twice as boring. But overall, I enjoyed it.

Grandpa Sousa

Tragedy is the one and only word. As Mr. Fong was reading, I felt my stomach turn and twist. I was worried and already knew what was coming but refused to believe it. But then he said the words, the words that would have forever changed the ASTI community. From that moment and on, my views on ASTI were different. I felt a sudden hatred build inside my body. I felt it twist my organs and I could feel my stomach stretch turn and twist. Slowly the hatred build up and I knew eventually I would lose my temper because of it. I tried to stay strong and keep calm because had I not, I would have probably gotten violent. Up until we walked into Mr. Sutherland's room, I was fine so I decided to go write on the big poster provided for us and tell him (Mr. Sousa) that I loved him but that was when it went all bad. Mr. Fong walks in with a picture of Mr. Sousa and pastes it right on the poster. I look up briefly and it hits me, he was gone and he was staring at me with his beautiful colored eyes. He was right there in front of me, the man that inspired me, taught me a lot, the one I respected with all my heart. I stared into his eyes and decided I would wrap up my message because I couldn't sit there and bare that.

I walked away as a million thoughts were flowing through my head. So I decided to take it outside and just think on my own so I stepped outside, stared at the sky, and just went crazy. I cussed at everything in the world in my mind and just thought to myself, "Why Mr. Sousa?" He was like my grandpa, I loved him, respected him, and no other teacher could ever be like him. He was something else, a special person that I had just met and yet he had made the hugest impact ever. They say the good people go the fastest and for the first time, I had seen that happen. He was a great, courageous, caring, and outstanding man and to see him go is like having a year of absolutely no sunshine on Earth. Will I ever let this go? Probably not,  I will never like any other PE teacher and I hate going to PE because I won't be with Sousa. He won't be there to tell me that he's proud of my improvements and that he knows I can do it. Well maybe the "replacement" can, but hey, they can NEVER be on Sousa's level, he was different. Someone that no one can ever replace and I think about it until this day... I love you with all my heart Sousa and I will never replace you and nor will I forget you. I love you Grandpa and don't forget that.

Esperanza's Future

The last four chapters of "The House On Mango Street" by Sandra Cisneros says a lot about Esperanza's future and what might happen. Cisneros hints multiple times that Esperanza might be leaving Mango Street and also makes it seem like she is on a mission. In the fourth to last vignette, Cisneros makes it clear that Esperanza is looking forward to leaving Mango Street. This is exemplified on page 105 when Cisneros says,

"Yes,  make a wish. What do you want?
Anything? I said.
Well, why not?
I closed my eyes.
Did you wish already?
Yes, I said.
Well, that's all there is to it.
[....]
Esperanza. She held my face with her blue veined hands and looked at me... When you leave you must remember to always come back, she said. A circle you understand? You will always be Esperanza. You will always be Mango Street. You can't erase what you know. You can't forget who you are [....] For the ones who cannot leave easily as you."

This shows that Esperanza wished to leave Mango street and one of the old ladies were telling her she would have to come back. This contributes to the idea that Esperanza does not like Mango Street and wants to leave. In a way, it seems like she is part of Mango Street but Mango Street is not a part of her. Another thing it shows is that Esperanza was the one that did  not want to grow up and she wanted to stay a child while the others allowed themselves to mature and grow up there on Mango Street so it will be harder for them to leave.

Also, Esperanza proves that she did come back to all of the people that she left behind and it is proved at the very end of the book.

"One day I will go away [....] They will not know I have gone away to come back. For the ones I left behind. For the ones who cannot out (110)."

The quote above is the biggest hint of it all and the most important part of the book. Esperanza does in fact come back and stick to her word. She does not physically come back to Mango Street and take her friends and friends with her, she helps them have their way out by writing "The House on Mango Street". She talks about all of the experiences she had on Mango Street and with whom she had them. That was her way or rather Sandra Cisneros way of coming back to take those who cannot out.

A Taste Of The Variables That Make My Life

Table Of Contents:
The Beautiful Brown Paint
I Guess It's Mostly The Color That Counts
Yes, I'm A Tough Girl
So.. Are You Supposed To Look Cute?

The Beautiful Brown Paint

Big, brown and a little run down. It’s cute. As colorful as a parachute. Rusted a little, parts scraping off. Dusty in the summer, can’t help but cough. I’m proud of it, I feel like with that apartment, I benefit. The chocolaty color that coats the outside, as it was worked on, it was the paint they had to apply. The color was bright, from a mile
away, my apartment in sight. Lived there almost forever in a day, this place I will never betray. In my apartment I dance and sing, joy and happiness I bring. Everyone comes over to visit my place, the memories they make at my apartment they will never erase.
The inside, all clean and taken care of. Taken care of from the clean carpets below to the roof above. My rooms as pretty as a dove, everything in their taken care of with love. Bunk beds next to the laptop, always changing things in that room, we never stop. It makes me feel like I belong, every time I’m in their, I feel strong. Can I say that it makes who I am? No need for any one's thoughts, cause I don’t give a damn. I love my apartment, I see it as me and my family’s accomplishment. 

 I Guess It's Mostly The Color That Counts

My Uncle has light brownish green eyes. They sparkle when hit by the sun and even when they don’t hit the sun, they sparkle. They sparkle kind of like glass or maybe even like a fresh coat of clear nail polish. He always says Hey, what can I say? I got good genes.
I laugh, I wish I inherited those genes.
Well, maybe your children will get them.
We then both grin, I feel so grown up when I talk to him.
My dad has light green eyes with a hint on brown as well. They don’t sparkle but you will notice them. It is the first thing anyone sees on his face. They give such hard glares, it is hard not to get scared and maybe even giggle a little. Those eyes hide behind his glasses and when he takes them off, it is like he stepped into a whole other world. Everyone stops to stare, you know? It’s like he’s Chris Brown or something, they all look. We here the little comments everywhere we go

Wow, look at those eyes.

Oh, such a beautiful color.
My mom, well she has brown eyes. Just brown, no green in it, no blue. Just a solid light brown. Even though it’s just brown, it’s a pretty brown. One full of color and a rich look. You can stare into her eyes for hours and look at the different designs that are crafted into her eyes. They swirl and take you into a whole other world. She’s pretty, and maybe the eyes are a plus. Who knows? She knows she loves here eyes, she says so herself.
I love them, they’re.... pretty, you know? Just like me. Then she smiles and that’s the end of the conversation.
My sister, she has those big eyes. Like an owls eyes in a way. It’s big and milk chocolate brown. You can see everything behind you by just looking into her eyes. I call it a mirror. She has just brown as well, no green or anything else. No designs or anything of the sort, just plain old big, brown eyes. I love them.
My other sister, well she has normal eyes. Not big, not small, not green, and no designs. There’s really nothing in particular that stands out. Just plain old boring brown eyes. I always tell her
Why in the world do we have such brown eyes?
I don't know, but I would appreciate a color that would pop.
We sigh and sit in silence, what else is there to do when you have boring eyes?
My eyes, what can I say? I have normal eyes as well. They’re brown and medium sized. Nothing that stands out. Well, except my eye lashes. Those things.... If they were to be curled, they would reach my eyebrows.
Yeah, they’re cute. I know they are.
It’s my eyes that make me a little more attractive, at least that’s what I think. 

Yes, I'm A Tough Girl 

I think it was steak. Or something like that, well I don’t know. I was only in pre-school. I loved it though, the sauce it came with and we always had delicious spaghetti next to it. However, only now do I realize how good it actually was. I hated it, just like I hated girly-girls. I could not stand those little snobs, always so perfect and pretty. Their hair stayed in place while mine got all messy by the end of the day. I would never be friends with them, I was always surrounded by boys. You know why, they did cool stuff. Things that only tough people like me could do. Like kicking rocks and three wheeled bicycles. It was from there that I determined that I was a tomboy. I hated wearing pink and having pretty clothes. I liked bold stuff, like boys shoes cause they were for the tough people, like me.
Hey, you girls can’t hang out with us. We do tough stuff. You couldn’t bare that.
We don’t care, we will make sand castles and you can’t come in.
Oh yeah? Well... Who cares? And I stuck my tongue out, not even one more word.
I ran, I jumped, I yelled, I did all the tough stuff.
I’m bold I would think. And I really was, I felt like I really fit in and I found where I belong. Doing boy like things, mhm, it was a great experience. Probably one that a boy would prefer.

So.. Are You Supposed To Look Cute?

Clothes. What is the point of buying those things if you end up throwing them away? They come in all different shapes and sizes. Kind of like shapes. They have nice shades, like blue and red. All kinds of shapes like “v-necks” and “u-necks”. Then they come in all different designs. Some with one sleeve, some with two, some that comes down all the way to your hips, and some that stop halfway.
What has happened to the style nowadays? My mom complains.
I don’t know, I guess every one's adding in a bit more of the teenage style into all their clothes.
She shakes her head, I swear. It is really going to be the end of the world soon, every thing's turning around and changing.
I stare, well it is. I hate having to change my entire closet every 6 months just because their is something new in the stores. That’s exactly why I always stick to my clothes style. I wear my tight skinny jeans, my tight plain colored shirts, Vans, Nike's, or Jordan's, Jordan’s necklace, and a fresh jacket to go on top. There is no changing what I wear just to look like Megan Fox or like Brittney Spears.
Changing styles is like changing your hair style, eventually you look dumb and like you lost yourself. Well, that’s what I think. My cousins change their style at least once a month. Once, they wear skinny jeans and long shirts. Next I see them in booty shorts and those stylish tank tops that are tight around the chest and loose on the bottom half. Then the next time I see them, they would be wearing high waist pencil skirts with a tucked in ruffly shirt on top. It made me laugh.
What’s up with your outfit?
What did you just say? ‘Cause the question is what’s up with your face?
I.... Never mind. 

The Color Red Analysis

In the book "The House on Mango Street", Sandra Cisneros puts in many symbols. The symbols come in a variety of things such as colors, objects, body parts and much more. The one that was rather appealing to me and interested me right off the bat was how the colors red and pink were symbosl. Now usually, you will not see that but the fact that Cisneros was able to do that was interesting.

The color red pops up on several pages and four, the color red is symbolized.
"It's small and red with tight steps in front and windows so small you'd think they were holding their breath."
This symbolizes that she is somewhere that she does not want to be. Esperanza obviously does not like her house and she is explaining how there is something wrong with her house. The tone she has here seems to be that she is unhappy and is not feeling the house at all and obviously, the color red was involved. This leads to the next vignette.

The color pink pops up and essentially represents the same idea of in a way, being uncomfortable or going against your will. This vignette is particularly different because it involves not wanting to do something or maybe even just going against your will. On page 46, it says,
"I open up and she's there with bags and big boxes, the new clothes and, yes, she's got the socks and a new slip with a little rose on it and a pink-and-white striped dress."
In this vignette, the idea is that she is insecure and does not want to do what she is asked to do. Her cousin by first communion wants to dance with her but she does not want to and she has pink on. It proves that she is not comfortable and does not want to be there. Again, that ties into not wanting to do something or just going against you own will.

The third vignette is about red. This one is really intense and explains a great and horrific story. Something is being done to someone and this time it is most definitely against their will.
"I was waiting by those red clowns. I was standing by a tilt-a-whirl where you said.... Why didn't you tell them to leave me alone? The one who grabbed me by the arm, he wouldn't let me go. He said I love you, Spanish girl, I love you and pressed his sour mouth to mine."
Proof of discomfort, loneliness, and of course, not wanting to be somewhere. In this scene, it is not clear who is talking, however it is about being violated. The reason the color red ties into this is because the red clowns were there while everything was happening. She was surrounded by red which comes to prove that red and pink symbolizes not wanting to be somewhere or doing something against your own will. 

Windows ...

In the book “The House on Mango Street”, the author Sandra Cisernos seems to talk about a specific subject in a bunch of her “chapters” and the reason is related to each other. One example is windows. In the vignettes: My name, No speak English, Rafaela, and Sally, Cisernos mentions windows at least once. There is obviously a meaning or a reason for the repeat of windows in these four sections of the book.

In the section “My Name”, windows are mentioned only once. She is talking about her great-grandmother whom she never got the chance to meet. She mentions the windows in paragraph 4 when she says:

“She looked out the window her whole life, the way so many women sit their sadness on an elbow.”

To me, this means that looking out of the window is a way of rejuvenating herself. Looking out the window was a way of just chilling and having some one on one by herself. I think that the one looking out the window was not depressed but she was so focused on looking out the window that she had that look on her face.

This leads to the second vignette “No Speak English”. There is a brief mention about windows, which does tie into the first vignette.

“She sits all day by the window and plays the Spanish radio show and sings all the homesick songs about her country in a voice that sounds like a seagull” (77).

Again, this is about getting away from everything and everyone and just having time to oneself. It says that when Mamacita gets homesick, she likes to sit by the window and just sing. That sort of means to me that she wants to be isolated by the world and stare into whatever view the window has and just do her thing.  

Then there is “Rafaela Who Drinks Coconut and Papaya Juice on Tuesdays” which is also about windows. On page 79, it says:

“And then Rafaela, who is still young but getting old from leaning out the window so much, gets locked indoors because her husband is afraid Rafaela will run away since she is too beautiful to look at.”

I feel like this still kind of means that it is a way to be isolated because it seems like Rafaela’s husband does not let her look out the window in fear that she will run away. So I feel like it means the same thing. A way of being isolated.

Then finally yet importantly, there is “Sally”. This is another vignette that talks about windows. It is on page 81 and it says,

“Do you wish your feet would one day keep walking and take you far away from Mango Street, far away and maybe your feet would stop in front of a house, a nice one with flowers and big windows and steps for you to climb up two by two upstarts to where a room is waiting for you.”

In this one, windows are a sign of happiness and maybe even a nice place to be. Windows in her case seem to be a sign of escaping things and just enjoying the world.

"The Color Purple"

Celie and Nettie are sisters but two completely different people. In the book, “The Color Purple” by Alice Walker gives these two characters different lives, personalities, and points of views on the different parts of life. The differences give the book a perfect twist it needs to make this novel worth reading. Celie and Nettie have different love and different experiences with religion and children.

Religion is a huge part of this phenomenal story. Celie and Nettie both feel different about the whole God idea. Throughout the whole story, Celie changes her feelings about God. At one point, it seems like she believes and the next, it seems like she has given up or as if she never did believe. This is exemplified on page one when Celie begins her first diary entry saying “Dear God,” (1) This shows that Celie did in fact believe in God so therefore she addressed all of her entries to God. Another example is, “I keep hoping he find somebody to marry. I see him look at my little sister. She scared. I say I take care of you. With God help.” (4) This could be considered solid proof that she actually does believe in God. She does think that God is real and she depends on God to help her save her sister from her abusive dad. However, things take a dramatic drift as more and more things happen to Celie. This change was proven here, “Dear Nettie, I don’t write to God no more. I write to you. What happened to God? ast Shug. Who that? I say… What God do for me? I ast?” (192)The way Walker worded this makes it seem like Celie doesn’t even know who God is much less believe in Him. That is where the change in her beliefs takes place. Nettie had a better relationship with God. in the book, she is brought up as a strong believer. I say this because first off Nettie is a missionary in Africa and secondly because in one of her letter’s to Celie she says, “Oh Celie! Will I ever be able to tell you all? I dare not ask, I know. But I leave it all to God.”(143) This proves that she still believes in God and leaves things up to him. She has high expectations of God and just like Celie she depends on him.

Another major difference is the gender inequalities. Celie’s husband abuses her and gives her hell over the littlest things. On the contrary, Nettie happens to run into a good man whom treats her good. Celie was beat occasionally over Mister’s (her husband) children and never once had Mister attempted to help her handle them. Her “Father” also raped her and that left a major scar.

“Just say You gonna do what your mammy wouldn’t. First he put his thing up gainst my   hip and sort of wiggle it around. Then he grab hold my titties. The he push his thing inside my pussy. When that hurt, I cry. He start to choke me, saying You better shut up and git used to it.” (1)

Celie and Nettie’s thoughts about children are contrasting as well. Nettie has always dealt with children who were under control and who knew how to respect their elders. Being a missionary, she was around children who were taught to behave so she never had a problem. Nevertheless, her sister Celie dealt with snobby little children who were anything but respectful and innocent. They were disrespectful and partially the reason why she was beat. They were, “…all rotten children, I say. You made my life a living hell on earth. And your daddy here ain’t dead horse’s shit.” (200) That was the first time Celie had spoken up and said how she felt. By doing that, she revealed a lot about how she felt towards the children and Mister, which was partially why she got a little more freedom and was able to leave with Shug. Had she not spoken up, Mister probably would have held her back.

Celie and Nettie’s different lives are definitely one of the main points of this book. “The Color Purple” is a book that shows how even though you are related, you can still go through life in different ways and you can get different things out of your experiences. Celie and Nettie have different love and different experiences with religion and children.

On the other hand, Nettie has had a much better experience when it came to men. She met a man named Samuel whom treats her very good. When it came to being abused, she was never really abused. Her “Father” did all the horrible things to Celie and Nettie was never an option because she was too young. Therefore, Nettie was never given a reason to hate men. However, considering all of what she has been through, Celie realizes she is not attracted to men she likes women. “He beat me today cause he say I winked a boy in church… I don’t look at mens. That’s the truth. I look at women…” (5) She says it right out, she looks at women, which is the beginning of her attraction towards women.

Dear Best Friend (Tara)

Ahhh, memories memories! This here is my sister. She is super special. We have been through some rough times but what overlaps that is the good times. She is honestly the pea to my pod, the straw to my berry, my right arm, left leg, half of my brain and hey, without her, life's boring. I feel like our bond is strong, like we don't take the time to listen to the ignorant ones who like to spread rumors. We don't have time for that. I believe in Tara and I know for a fact that she's real and I know that we don't let those things get to us.

There is no doubt in my mind that she has heard stuff and yes I have heard stuff but I know she isn't listening and I know i'm not listening and that's what makes us so close. I could give two eff's about what people says she supposedly said because to be honest, she hasn't said a word. To be even more honest, I haven't said a word and I know she knows that. We have all these little insiders that make only us laugh and like I said, they are little but we laugh as if we are watching Lopez Tonight.

We are like those two teenagers who have been friends since about birth. Those two who love each other but in a sisterly way. All I have to say is that I cannot afford to lose Tara because well, she's my main and so therefore losing her is like losing part of myself. So yeah, I thought I would quickly share that.

Rebuttal : Ebone - Role Models

Ebone's blog post was one of many but her's was the first one I found that was against mine so here's my response. She says,

If you make the decision to be an entertainer on a children's show, you cannot be caught in the news smoking a bong and getting high like this very famous young child actress, with millions of fans did recently. The things that children/teenagers see on TV influences and affects their behavior in real life. For instance, if a child admires someone like Batman and he/she sees Batman doing bad things, they are going to think it's okay because their role model is doing it and do it themselves. 

I have to be honest, Ebone is saying the truth but there were a few things I wish to address. Just because you decide to get in the industry, should it mean that you should do everything perfectly? Does it mean that you shouldn't grow up and do new things because you started off entertaining young ones? Does it mean they cannot do the types of things a normal teen would?

People such as Miley Cyrus come into the industry because it is what they have dreamed to do. They work extremely hard and compete like never before. After all that work, they most certainly do not want to dedicate their careers to satisfying little children. For example, say you study for the longest time and you focus like there is no tomorrow because you really want to impress your parents. You take the test, and you pass. However, your teacher tells you, "Oh, I decided this test shouldn't count because I didn't like it." Wouldn't that be irritating? That is how Miley Cyrus might feel. She works extremely hard for making her dreams come true and at the end, she doesn't even get the audience she wanted. Her audience was limited to the younger generation.

I understand that she started off on a children's show but she wants to grow out of it but no one will let her. We are holding her back. But, if everyone insists that she should be held back and she must work for entertain the younger people, then we should leave her personal life out of the picture. When she smoked the bong, it was on her own time. What she does away from her "Hannah Montana" life is none of our concern. So I say let's just leave these celebrities alone and let them do them.

( Love You Ebone Girl ! )

I Love My Friends !

(There are more people but this is focused on my lunch group only because they were the ones who stuck with me until now)

Man, sometimes I feel like I don't say this to my friends enough. I really do love them and without them, I swear I would be lost. Here at ASTI, I have found a group of really good people who are proving to me day-by-day that they are there for me no matter what. You guys are all my loves and the reason why I look forward to going to school. Keep up the good work, just do you all the time, and know I am here for you guys and I don't care what you need. I will come through. You guys mean the world and more to me. You guys have made me realize how much I really love you guys.

These past 6 or 7 months of school, you guys proved that you guys are the group of people I want to be friends with forever. Today, Januray 21, 2011 we had lunch together just like the old days and I looked around at all of you guys. All of you were so unique, special, and different. I just thought, wow! This is my group of people, these are the ones that are still here with me. Still putting up with my attitude, rudeness, and everything else. It made me so juiced to see all of us together again, as a group.

Karen! This girl is my twin, other half, sister, and my ride or die. Karen and I immediately had a connection. Everytime I am in a bad situation, she's there to tell me how to get through it. She knows when i'm mad or sad and i'm glad that she is my friend. Then, Shannon. Oh God! She has always been there. She is one of the people I would truly hate to lose. She is like my sister and i'm glad I met her. Karisa! She is so innocent and I absolutely love her! Once I have a problem, I can tell her and she tells me what to do and it turns out being the best advice ever. Now, my girl Ebone. I love her to death. I have known her forever and I will never forget all the good things she's done for me. She always tells me the correct thing to do and I feel like she is someone I will want to be friends/sister's with forever. Melissa Ma. This girl and I have been through the worst ever. However, we always work right around it and end up being friends again. This little girl is like my sister as well. She is just the best person in the world and I will be there for her and do whatever I can to make sure we stay friends. Justice, Justice, Justice! She is really important to me. She's my backbone, sister, ride or die, right arm, left leg, and everything else. I love this girl with all my heart and I will support her and do anything for her. She has always been there for me and she is the definition of a true friend. She is one hundred percent real and I respect her.

Stan is the best friend ever! He is always asking me if i'm okay when i'm sad and I love him. He's like my brother and in these past 6 months, Stan and I have become really good friends and i'm thankful for him. Cameron. He's the best person I have ever met. I love Cameron because I think of him as my older brother. He always tells me things straight up, I respect him and he knows it. Troy is another one of my good friends. Again, he's on that brother level. He plays around a lot but when it comes down to it, he knows how to make me feel a better. I love him and I definetly want him in my life. Tony Lin, he is for sure one of my brothers. He calls me Rockstar and we go way back! We couldn't stand each other but we turned that around and now, we get along really well. I love him and he's always there for me.

These people are just the most important. I love them to death and if I lose any of them, I don't even know what I would do. I respect them, love them with all my heart, support them, appreciate them, and will give up anything in the world for them. They have been there to tell me when i'm acting stupid and they have been there to tell me that they are proud. I could have never asked God for friends better than them. I honest to God love you guys and I want you guys to know that.

Young Actors = Role Models ?

There is Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, And Justin Bieber. These are basically the four most important and young actor/actresses in the industry. They make the most money, have the most popularity, and are well-known through out the world. However, should they devote most of their teenage years to satisfying the younger ones? Should they have to do everything correct just because they have little kids watching their shows and listening to their music? I think not! We need to understand that they will mess up, and if not mess up, they will just want to move on so we can't expect for them to stay the way they are forever.

Why in the world would all of these successful people waste their time trying to satisfy kids who won't let their "role models" move on and do more things with their career? If they mean so much to all these people, why would they not let them move on and become more famous? Now an example is 16 year old Taylor Momsen from Gossip Girl was caught smoking and everyone immediately attacked her and her response was,

"To be honest, I don't f--king care. I didn't get into this to be a role model. So I'm sorry if I'm influencing your kids in a way that you don't like, but I can't be responsible for their actions. I don't care."

I have to say I agree with her. I don't want to be all about smokig because if you know me, then you know the words "above the influence" are tattoed to my forehead. However she made a valid point because no one gets into the industry to be stuck doing things to satisfy others. They got into the industry to live the dream and to be their own person, not who all the fans want them to be.

Another example is Selena Gomez who is the most gorgeous, talented, pretty, successful, loved, famous, and funnest celebrity and no one will let her move on. They all want her to stay with Disney Channel and sing childish songs because they don't want her to go down the wrong direction. Since I am her biggest fan, her twin, and the only person who would actually give up their life just to see her, I think I can say that it is time for her to move on and do bigger and better things.

Miley Cyrus... she was the biggest teen sensation from day one and you know what? She fell just as fast and just as hard because she decided she wanted to grow up. I call that retarded. If she wants to go sing in shorts and a tank top, then she can. If she wants to go smoke a bong, then she can. She has a father and a mother so it is none of our concern. Our job is to support her and be there for her so when paparzzi tries to break her, we are there to build her back up and make sure she doesn't completely dissapear from the industry. This is what was said about her new music video "Who Owns My Heart":

The head of the PTC, Tim Winter, has slammed Cyrus stating:
“It is unfortunate that she would participate in such a sexualized video like this one. It sends messages to her fan base that are diametrically opposed to everything she has done up to this point,” agrees Winter. “Miley built her fame and fortune entirely on the backs of young girls, and it saddens us that she seems so eager to distance herself from that fan base so rapidly.”

I would like to ask this Tim Winter a question. Is it any of your business? You have no right to say something like that about a young girl who has a father and a mother who thank God are still alive and are watching her. You are a 50 year old man and you need to stay out of her business. Oh, and she did start off on the backs of younger girls because stating the obvious she was young herself. Can it get anymore obvious? Now that she is older, she wants to sing and make videos for people her age. It isn't her fault parents make their children watch her show and videos when they are obviously now meant for the older generation and not a bunch of 5 and 6 year olds. It is irritating and rude when people think they can say rude things about others just because they are older. Your input is not needed and it is not any of your concern. Is she your daughter? Neice? Nephew? I think not so you need not to comment on what she does. You just need to help her stay on the correct path since it seems like you won't survive unless Miley acts like a 10 year old. So why put her down when you can "help her"?

Then, Demi Lovato. This girl is a good singer and what not but guess what? She lost millions of fans just because she stepped into rehab. That is straight up crazy. Why does that concern us or any of her fans? For all we should care, she can go to the club 24/7 and get drunk. She has parents and if they are okay with what she does, then who are we (her fans) to tell her what she can and can't do? She can't devote her entire life to satisfying us. She needs to grow up and find out who she is and what she wants to do with her life. Everyone wants Lovato to make it her life goal to satisfy us. It's like no sweets, it doesn't work that way.

Justin Bieber. This little boy is the biggest male teen sensation. Everyone loves him but just as many hate him. Why? Because and I quote, "He's tryina be all ghetto and black," and "He sounds like a girl!" Most also say that he is a bad influence and apparently he said he wants to be a father at a young age which troubled many. People speak on his name like it's bubble gum. Parents don't like him because he sings songs with girls and he has pictures kissing girls. Big deal! Is he supposed to devote his career to singing to little girls and making them feel like they are his "baby" or they will be the "one less lonely girl" because he will pick them?

There is a limit to everything and we need to understand that their is a point in time where these sensations will want to move on and sing or act for the older generation. So we should not expect for them to always be the angels that they start off being because in this industry, they are bound to mess up so hey, let's just support them.

Smh Moment ....

Here is my attempt to be mature so please hear me out. I know I have been straight up with everyone when it came to my point of view and what I thought about a situation. I know most people think that I feel really strong when I sit behind a computer just because I know there will be no harm done to me. I also know that most people think I am super rude and that I need an attitude check because I am a taking these posts way to serious. Stating the obvious, I am here to explain myself and apologize.

When I see a post that seems interesting and I know I have a lot to say, I respond to it and don't hold back. I say what I have to say whether it be negative or posotive just because I feel like these posts should be based off of honesty, not based off of what might make people feel happy. I have no problem saying these things to people's faces because it isn't that serious to me. It's just my point of view and I feel like I should be able to say how I feel without having to worry about people taking it seriously.

I have been in the posotion where everyone attacks you for a post and I know it really pissed me off but then again, I knew it was just what they thought and so I wasn't trippin about it. However, I understand that some people might not think that way and I respect that. Although it makes me feel like I can't even speak my mind but it's not like I didn't realized that I need to tone it down and consider others before I start typing like a wild animal.

I would like to take this time to apologize for any feelings I hurt or for anything I said that might have made someone feel like I was purposely attacking them because that was not my intention. I was just trying to get my point across and it's my bad if I offended anyone. I know I do too much sometimes and it's because I am the type of person that has to say what I think or it feels like the end of the world. I like to get my opinion out there and I love debating so therefore I thought I could do that through blog posting. But I never intended on hurting feelings or making someone feel bad.

If you are in Mr. Sutherland's class with me then you already know how I love to talk in front of everyone and debating is my specialty. I can debate for hours and always have something to say. I don't do it because I know i'm good at it and I have an advantage. I do it because I like to hear other people's opinions and I like to see things from different perspectives. But overall, I really apologize for being rude, mean, or hurting feelings. I realized all this today when a sophmore gave me the best advice in the world and I wish to thank Gina for making me realize all these things.

(I promise I won't be rude anymore, I'll be nicer and if I feel like i'm about to say something rude, I'll walk away from the computer and avoid.)

"Ahahahaha" Response To Lhadze

I hope I don't explode while writing about this but here I go. Lhadze says:

Ok I'm going to respond to you all. I can't find every ones post but I'll post this on Rokhors blog  have  I know your cousins supposely scene, and I'm glad we have more of them, but it's when they show you looking more emo than scene and they think their so scene. It's funny to me as a Scene Kid and i find it absolutly hilarious when  you're not even scene and you call yourself scene( like the wanabes)

First of all, my cousin is not "supposedly" scene. She is scene and she will skate "scene" rings around all of the other scene queens, kings, kids, babies and whatever else. So thank you for attemtping to make me seem like a liar and im sorry, it didn't work. You best believe I don't care who you grew up around, I know my cousin is scene and if she wanted to, she could be a scene queen right now because she is that beautiful and that worthy.

Second of all, she is not the general base. She is the defenition itself. She made the word scene and if anyone were to see my cousin, they would throw away all other scene people and think she is the only one. Oh yeah, and again, okay you grew up around scene people. What are we supposed to do? Do you want all beginners to come kiss your feet? Like you told me and I quote, "She called me a scene wanna be and I was like hey! I was just a beginner!" So now all these people that are starting off might now have achieved the look yet so they are not wanna be's.

What pissed me off is how my cousin was brought up! That makes me want to pull all of my hair out. My gorgeous cousin has nothing to do with this. She does not wear a lot of make up, she does not have a lot of piercings, she does not like hello kitty, she does not do anything other "scene" people do! She does have the big, ginormous teased hair that is pink, black, dark blue, and blonde right now. She has only one lip piercing, one nose piercing, and one ear piercing on each ear. All the scene guys die for her but she doesn't like them. So yes, she is scene and anyone can be scene and I will believe that until I die.

(Sorry if I was rude, i'm in a bad mood)

You Hella Dirty ....

Some people are so grimy, I swear to God. As you all know, I just got my fresh haircut and you know I am trying to enjoy it when I see the nastiest person on earth. Well she did not look dirty because you know. She looked like a freshman or sophomore, her hair was gelled, fresh pair of Jordan’s, and a matching top. So my friend and I go over there and were standing by the stoplight when this little nasty, not so clean piece of garbage flips her hair. All I see is about 3-miniature bug’s fall to the floor. Even worse, her hair was parted and on her scalp, I see a bunch of little black things that my friends and I identified as eggs. In addition, there were little bugs flying from one portion of her hair to the other and a bunch of other nasty things crawling.

I almost punched her in the face because I have my super clean, just washed, and just straightened hair down and the lice can just hop right into my hair and I can have her dirtiness. I was like, “Um no boo! If you got lice, then put your oh so dirty hair up because no one wants that filthiness.” I mean come no now. Why are you being so dirty? Put your hair up so that no one else gets them nasty bugs in their hair.

The nastiest thing is how they act as if they do not know. It is so obvious you have lice when you got your dirty hand in your hair all the time scratching and stuff. I mean if you have that long rapunzel hair, then I will understand because it is hard to handle and sometimes it gets itchy, but if you have short hair like that dirty female… then it is a no-no. I swear, if I ever (God forbid) get lice, I will have my hair up 24/7 and not come to school. Well at least my mom says she would not let me come to school. But anyways, I hope that little nasty gets her head shaved because she was the grimiest girl I have ever seen.

Response To Aleah

Okay, so obviously I was looking through the posts and I saw one that really pissed me off and being the type of person I am, I will respond to it and explain a few things. Aleah said:

"This week for the first time in a while I'm responding to Rhocksor because I think Teenage girls need to GET OVER IT! .... I honestly doubt that a little kid can be in love. In my opinion love works two ways. So if you feel the love so do they. Females attach themselves to every guy that they go out with. But they need to realize that "you can not attach yourselves to every guy that says he looves you becuase at the end of the day you'll probably have at least fifteen attach ments...So another thing that annoys me that I didn't put on my last blog is the fact that teenage females attach themselves or claim a Boyfriend. Like what the Hell? Who the hell are you to claim a boy that you ain't married to. These dudes have no obligation to you. So they can do what they want, your not there wife, mother, or grandmother."

Okay, can someone please tell me where in my post I said, "Oh, my friend was attached!" Um, lets see, NO WHERE! I did not say that and I refuse to let Aleah claim that I did. Why are you making me and me friend seem like were a bunch of boy crazy stupid people who don't know what we are talking about? If I say that my friend was in love and she says she was in love, then she was and that is that. Point Blank Period. I respect your ideas but you just made me seem really bad and it is because you are putting down everything I say.

As if you didn't know, she is a teenage girl. She has feelings and she is extremely strong but he meant a lot to her so she cried. That's what I was getting at, I wasn't saying she's strong but cries over everything. Also, he did love her and I can bring about 10 people in advance to prove it but the fact was, she messed up in the beginning and messed with his feelings which officially ruined it for her. That is why she cried for the longest time ever.

Oh, just so I don't forget, are you trying to tell me that teenagers need to get over it? So if someone treats you like their queen and they treat you like their everything, your going to spit at them and just laugh because you "honestly doubt that a little kid can be in love"? You can be in love regardless of your age. It's kind of like saying, "Oh, your 78, you are way too old to be in love" and "oh, you're 15, what the hell do you know about love"? I have come to realize you can love at any age and when someone tells you you're "too young", you need to laugh at them and know that obviously they haven't experience the feeling you get when you know that someone is giving you their all.

Oh God, this part really pissed me off and I literally wanted to pull my hair out. She said we were "claiming" boys and she asked the extremely disrespectful question "Who the hell are you to claim a boy that you ain't married to. These dudes have no obligation to you. So they can do what they want, your not there wife, mother, or grandmother." Excuse me? That is extremely disrespectful and I can't even believe you would say something like that. Did I say in my post that she had him on lock down and she didn't let him go? NO I did not so I would appreciate if you stopped adding extra details that are LIES to MY post. Oh, and nobody tried to tell anyone what to do so therefore we understand that we aren't their grandma, or mother, or whatever else you listed.

Mr. Sutherland I am sorry if this was way too long, this was just very important to me and I needed to clear up everything because my friend means the world to me and without her, I would be dead or something so please excuse my attitude and anything else that I said which might have come out wrong. I respect Aleah but this post was about my other half and for her, I would give up the world so .... sorry.

Based On My Friends Love Life

My friend Roxy (that's what we called her, her real name is Sasha) was single, loud, crazy, pretty, sweet, and just everything you might love but it was not like she didn't have imperfections. She did the kinds of things you would never imagine and that is what made her so different. She dressed really nice and her hair was gorgeous looking even if it was thown up in a bun. She was always a little bugged about the fact that she was single but she did not let it get to her.

Until one day she met someone. He respected her, said he loved her, said she was pretty, said she meant the world to him, and all that good stuff. Sure a lot of people had said that to her before but she didn't take any of them as serious as she took this one.

"He's just different Rokhsor. He makes me feel like a queen." she would say to me.

Of course, being the type of person I am, I didn't buy it. I felt like this talk was just temporary. She had just met him about a day ago and he already said those things? It was weird for me but I didn't want to make it rain on her parade so I told her I was happy for her. Stating the obvious, they started going out. They started off stronger than any other couple I had ever seen. Of course they fell just as bad. She broke up with him once but only because she loved him and knew she had no option. They got back together and that was when it became horrible.

They were over within a few days. They were stronger than ever and then, they broke up. It literally killed her inside. She hid her feelings and walked around like she didn't give a care in the world. A lot of guys still tried getting at her but she turned them down. She loved this guy because he was her first and to let him go just a few days after they got back together really bugged her.

She was the toughest girl you would ever meet but she cried for hours on the phone when we were talking. I remeber exactly what she said:

"Rokhsor, I loved him and I literally mean love. Like I said, he made me feel like I was royalty and for him to just let me go like that bugs me. Why would he do that? Is he trying to get me back or some sh*t? I really hope that's not the case. Oh, and you will never believe what I heard! He is dating some other girl now. My brother told me he could have made up an excuse to break up with me because he wanted her. Why the hell would he do that? I mean, I know why he broke up with me and it sounds rather legit but the fact that he shoved his fat foot so deep down in the ground and wouldn't work around the reason bothers me. What should I do? Please help me, help him, help us get back together! I am willing to do anything."

Those were her exact words. I say this story today just to let you all know how messed up the boys are. They really know how to play with a girl's emotions. This is basically my warning, once you dump them, they will like you a whole lot less even if it doesn't seem like it so therefore, with boys you need to expect the worst at all times. And yes, I saw right through him and I knew he was speaking lies.

(She allowed me to post this story so don't think I did this behind her back)

College ....

We have been looking at quite a few debates recently and it is about colleges. There were some that were okay, one that was fabulous, and one that just pissed me off because it didn't convince me of anything. In fact to be 100 percent honest, I didn't understand a single word. The one that convinced me was Graduate School Matters More by David W. Breneman. He says:

"College choice is a complicated matter, not unlike a marriage. Too may variables are involved to base the decision solely on the factors that a news magazine has selected to rank colleges. No one would pick a spouse in such a manner."

Basically, when I read this part it made me think "Genius"! He is speaking the truth and this is why. Breneman says that choosing a college is a very hard decision and that it needs to be based off what you think is going to help you in the long run. You cannot base it off of which college happens to be ranked the highest. I say this because based off of what people tell me, a majority of the people I know wish to attend a school that was voted best and not a school that will benefit them the most. I found this the most convincing because students do not pick colleges based off of what they want to be but again, rather based off of what the magazines think is the best which is STUPID.

Now the weakst one there was What You Do Vs. Where You Go by Martha O'Connel. Here is the part that just made me think, "What the hell is she talking about?"

"During the fall months at high school guidance counseling programs, juniors run to the stage to participate in an exercise to try and help them understand that it is not “where you go” that matters. They hold posters featuring the names and faces of famous people while their peers and parents shout out with confidence the names of elite colleges they assume the celebrities attended."

I read this and just sat there and thought to myself, what do posters and celebrities have to do with anything? Why is that relevant to anything? We are talking about colleges and she is over here discussing how everyone wants me to go to colleges that celebs went to and something about people putting pictures of celebs on posters. Well I am glad you can recognize a celeb, props to you but what is your point? No one that I know goes to schools that celebs went to. You know why? Because stating the obvious, none of those celebs go there anymore so again, what is the point? I found this to be the weakest and did not believe a single word she said.

Emo & Scene Response

There has been a war about this emo/scene thing ever since I came to Asti and now thanks to Lhadze, I had the chance to talk about it. She said:

"I've grown around scene kids all my life. I guess I have more of a right to say I'm scene. Cause all you people who say "I'm Scene" your all posers.... So next time you think your scene and you try to ruin your hair and look kinda weird take it from someone who knows, if you know your not comfortable wearing a style you think is cute, but highly competitive, rethink it."

Okay, so she basically is calling people who want to be scene "posers" and she is saying that they are making themselves look a hot mess. Wow, that's sort of harsh and I wish to say a few things about this. In the beginning, everyone looks a little out of the ordinary. It takes time to master "the" look. You said in your post that scene was about having your own style and not being ashamed. Well what if their interpretation of scene is different from yours and different from what you grew up around?

I have a scene cousin who could pass as scene Godess and she looks nothing like you. She listens to underground rap and she doesn't do half of the things on your list but yet she is verified as the scenest person in the area. She hates ripped up clothes and she can't stand cocky people. She doesn't dye her hair a lot, she doesn't wear metal brand shirts, and she hates scene boys. Does that mean she is a poser? Does that mean that since you wouldn't call her scene, she is not scene at all? That is what gets me questioning these "scene" people. Because like I said, my cousin is drop dead gorgeous and looks so scene that I thought she invented the whole idea on her own.

If you take scene so seriously, then why won't you let it spread so that everyone can get to know these types of people and know that it is a beautiful thing to be? Why are you not allowing for other people to try and achieve this look because I say that if it is what they want to look like, then they should go for it. However, I know how you feel because I understand how part of this is about biters and you best believe I would slap a biter because they piss me off. So why can't people just be scene but attempt to be original while achieving this look?